love letter to erik #18

hello my navigator,

made it to st. john's, just barely. it was a long day, one of those murphy's law days, that makes you wish you could start all over… first, the taxi i had pre-arranged never showed up. then getting through immigration in montreal was a nightmare, and i almost missed my connecting flight. and finally, i get to the airbnb apartment to find the door was locked even though the owner said the door would be left unlocked. had no way of calling her so ended up checking myself into a hotel at 1:00 in the morning. am absolutely exhausted, but am also wide awake. probably the jet-lag.

took the opportunity to resume my morning pages. you got me started on that about 12 years ago when my father had cancer. it was something you suggested i try to help cope with the madness. since then, it's taken on many forms, evolving from a stress reliever to a daily journal, then to a travelogue, and most recently, a way to express gratitude. had taken a break from it when i was in tawau, preferring to spend the time with you at the hospital, and afterwards, just kinda let it slip.

this morning as i opened the pages once again, guess what fell out? the photo sophia, your fellow pom pom island mate, gave me just before she left to visit her grandmother in greece. at the time, it made me cry a thousand tears, but this time, it made me smile. as i began to write, found i was writing how grateful i am that i got another taxi to take me to the airport and made my flight, grateful that i mustered up the nerve to jump to the front of the line at immigration to get on the connecting flight, and grateful that there was a hotel only a block away from the apartment with a comfortable bed, a hot shower, and free wifi!

of course once i wrote that down, the rest just flowed. i put down words of gratitude for another day on this great big benevolent universe that got me here safely and made sure your checked backpack did too, grateful that i am married to an angel, grateful for the love of family and friends who let me know everyday that i am not alone, grateful for a view of the city that is still asleep, grateful for the hum of the heater, grateful that i never go hungry, grateful i have a roof over my head, grateful for the freedom to move on if things don't work out here, and so on, and so on.

i am ever so grateful for that photo, not only because of the love and effort of the pom pom guys to put it together, but because it showed me that i am indeed on the road to healing…

thank you, thank you, thank you,

xo t