love letter to erik #13

to my very best friend,

slept last night, really slept, 11 hours! feeling a bit groggy, but pretty good overall. as i sit here drinking coffee and staring out the window, i'm remembering how perfect the burial was yesterday morning…

… the sky was beautifully clear, the water the deepest of blue, and the sun was shining on us as your body was carried in a casket onto the boat. i knelt down for a moment of prayer before we set sail at 8:30, with david, the captain, his crew, and glenn, the funeral director, and his partner. the seagulls flew overhead showing us the way while people waved at us. even the dolphins made an appearance then went under to alert everyone in the ocean what was to come. i sang that song to you over and over like a broken record until we arrived at our destination one hour later.

bells were rung and then a changing of the guard ceremony before your body was gently lowered into the ocean. i threw roses to mark the spot and then envisioned the fish tugging at the strings of the shroud to free your body. i saw you slowly, tentatively kick a few times to get rid of the stiffness before diving deeper, faster than you'd ever done before, without oxygen, fins, mask or wetsuit. there was a long parade of sealife trailing behind so happy to welcome your body back.

i can't thank these folks enough for performing this ancient, time honored tradition with such love, dignity, respect and compassion. i was presented with a beautiful certificate that has the exact coordinates of your burial, and i plan on going to the same spot when my time comes.

afterwards, found myself absolutely famished because the letting go woke up an appetite in me i hadn't had in quite some time. glenn and tony took me to mimi's for an oversized brunch, and what else could i order but the biggest steak frites with herbed butter sauce! after chowing down, they drove me home, where i laid down for a nap. slept so soundly that i had no idea where i was when i woke up a couple of hours later. once i realized, smiled instead of cried, and there were no more tears throughout the day.

i want to thank you once again because i know you led me here, led me to these people, who are now my friends. we took part in a very special ceremony that has allowed me to finally release and move on. still don't know where i'll go from here, but i do know wherever it is, there will be a great big body of water nearby so i can walk to it and see you smiling back at me.

rest in peace, my beautiful friend, rest in peace…

xo talor