a bach on a hill in nelson

happy easter everyone!

luck or skill? that's the question that came to mind when i landed in nelson and walked into this bach…

A bach (pronounced 'batch') (/ˈbætʃ/; (also called a crib in the southern half of the South Island) is a small, often very modest holiday home or beach house in New Zealand.​ ​— ​wiki​

after the head spinning road trip with sophia, i felt the need to stay put for awhile, settle in, unpack, and make a pot of soup. it's the small things that i miss when i'm constantly on the move. imagine my delight to find a full kitchen, a bathtub, and lava lamps. oh, and there's a view, not only of a stunning bay, but below me is a lovely garden with an apple tree, sunflowers, veggies, chooks and a bunny. just in time for easter!

my generous host, sharon, provided fruit, milk, juice, wild venison and gorgeous eggs from her chickens. in town, i got other provisions to hunker down before the rains came for several days of wetness. it was a welcome excuse to stay in, take a bath, read a book, do a whole lotta nothing or don the raincoat and take a nice long walk along the coast to the beach.

this is the beautiful spot i'd been lead to to re-group and prepare. by whom? an angel, the universe, my intuition. for what? the next chapter in my journey as i am heading to pom pom island (off of malaysian borneo) next month to volunteer with tracc (tropical research and conservation centre). why? don't know exactly. 

asked myself that many times, especially since i've got a few challenges, such as a messed up gut, planters fasciitis, an allergy to sea lice, and an aversion to tropical climates. and then there's the grief, always present. maybe that's why? to let go? possibly. for closure? could be. to face more fears? probably. curiosity? yup, that too. i wanna know first hand why it has such a hotel california effect on so many people who go there and find it difficult to leave.

also, i've been longing to learn to dive and see the big e reef that was built as a tribute to erik soon after he died. i want to see the coral, the fish, the life that has grown on it and around it. i want to see the impact he has made. i want to know i too can make a difference, i too have the ability to change the world as everyone at tracc has. i too want to contribute to the monumental effort steve oakley (the founder) put into building this important ngo (2016 winner of the prestigious energy globe awards), and the on-going work hazel oakley (his daughter) does to keep the project alive after his recent death. i too want to be worthy of this life i've been given, to serve a higher purpose beyond myself, to feel inspired, to feel truly alive!

such a fine line between enough and more. it used to seem that there was never enough, and given the option, i'd always choose more. however, these past eight months, i've had many occasions to silently scream "i've had enough" rather than "i want more." somehow though there's always something that pulls me back to say "nope, not time yet, hang on, there's more." each time i did, it was well worth it.

so i'm going in search of that more again, but with this adventure, i'll be seeking a more meaningful more. i have a feeling this one will either make or break me. either way, i won't complain and i won't regret it.

ok, gotta run and look for a wetsuit…

thanks for reading!

xx talor

* a few photos of nelson on google.